Ashley Huyge

How to be Kirk-Worthy Glam

Outer Beauty - The Final Frontier

Outer Beauty – The Final Frontier

Happy Summer Everyone! With Star Trek : Into Darkness finally out, we can enjoy the coming toys, fashion trends and parodies that are sure to follow. Our heros of the universe fight all odds to bring about intergalactic harmony, as best we’ll ever get it, what with all that Klingon pride. However one thing sticks out in my mind, there sure are a lot of homely looking aliens out there. Where is Kirk finding the green babes?

And that’s when it hit me, there are a lot of homely looking humans down here too. So what’s the difference? Make-up. Maybe she’s born on the carbon dioxide parched surface of Mars, Maybe it’s Maybelline. Nothing to worry about if you’re not a naturally lovely martian, the following beauty regimen will make you an out-of-this-world beauty.

  1. Start with a gently exfoliation. Try rubbing a mixture of baking soda and water on your face to naturally scrub away dead skin cells. Unless you’re from Venus, the baking soda will react with the natural vinegar your skin secretes and your face will melt off. Try using dirt as a substitute.
  2. Moisturize. Apply a light moisturizing lotion with a mild SPF, preferably SPF 4000 or stronger. (This applies if you’re living close to any of this universes’s suns. Modify this step to meet your needs.)
  3. Apply Color. Lightly blend a soft rose colored blush to the apples of your cheeks to make your skin look vital and healthy. Unless your skin tends to be more bluish in tint. Try blending a purple to the apple of your cheeks. Unless you don’t have cheeks. Maybe just apply it where it seems logical.
  4. Finish with Powder. A generous application of powder will set your look for hours. Unless you’re on an aquatic planet, it’ll just rinse right off. Then just make sure that you apply a water proof mascara and you’re good to go.

That’s it! It’s amazing what a little pampering can do for you. Just look at these results.

Before

Before

After

After

And you can expect results just like this, because make-up never over promises. So check the arrival schedule for your nearest space station, and let your special Star Fleet commander know you’re ready for a night a sushi. Unless you’re from an aquatic planet, it might be too soon too meet family.

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