Article / Danielle Calvert

BREAKING NEWS: NSA Leaks Telephone Record

CNN reported last week that the US Government obtained a secret court order requiring Verizon to turn over millions of Americans’ phone records to the National Security Agency on an “ongoing daily basis.”

While the court order does not require the contents of conversations to be turned over, Verizon employee Rick Hills “accidentally hit send” when compiling phone records for the NSA. Then, in a “freak finger spasm” Rick Hills’ buddy and NSA employee Hank Grad forwarded the email to CNN.

While Hills and Grad are “super sorry, guys, seriously,” two innocent Americans’ personal conversation is now available to the public. Below is transcript of the leaked conversation between Verizon customers RH and HG.

9:56pm – outgoing call from RH to HG

PS: Hey bro.

HG: Hey man.

PS: What’s up?

HG: Not much. Chillin. Left 4 Dead 2 is crazy when you’re high.

PS: That’s what I’ve been telling you, man!

HG: Totally tripping right now.

(sound of zombies getting shot)

PS: So you know that Kathy chick?

HG: The one from the bar?

PS: Yeah.

HG: Yeah?

PS: She texted me that I should come over.

HG: Nice!

PS: Yeah, I think she’s pretty into me.

HG: Yeah. Totally into you.

(sound of burp)

PS: Wanna drink tomorrow night?

HG: Yeah, I’m in.

PS: Cool.

HG: Sounds good, bro.

PS: Alright, gotta get ready for Kathy.

HG: Shave those balls, dude.

PS: Hah yeah, right.

HG: Cool. Talk to ya.

PS: Bye.

No charges have been filed, although the NSA did release a statement stating that they have been looking to fire Hank Grad for quite some time anyways. NSA chief Keith Alexander has yet to issue a statement.

For more news updates, follow @trexprincess on twitter.

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