It’s that time! Summer BBQs are sneaking up everywhere and as these are great social opportunities, you don’t want to miss them. But if you’re a vegetarian, you can probably feel the bizarre mix of snickering and finger-pointing already. It’s not your fault you don’t want to eat meat, but there are enough die-hard non-meat enthusiasts out there giving veggies a bad name and you just don’t want to be mistakenly lumped in with the sprout-triumphing-meat-booing-ne’er-do-wells.
And you don’t want to defend yourself every time someone lifts a judgmental eyebrow and then refers to you as the “vegemegematerian” for the rest of the night. Yes, a vegemegematerian. Every thinks they’re a clever monkey. Not to worry though, here are 5 sure-fire ways for you to roast your veggies and eat them too, without landing you in the hot seat.
1. Use Misdirection. Seriously, point to the meat, “Would you look at those spare ribs! Mmmmmmmmm!” Then eat your meal while they’re staring at the meatiness.
2. Pretend you’ve already had that today. No one repeats a meal in the same day, that’s just a faux pas. Try a clean little line like, ” Rotisserie Chicken in a sweet orange glaze garnished with oven roasted baby blue potatoes wrapped in imported bacon? That’s too bad, I had that at breakfast.”
3. Play host or hostess. The life of the party never has a chance to eat, and no one ever questions it. So keep the glasses filled and the plates full, you can sneak off to eat once everyone has slipped into that post meal food coma.
4. Save the whales. Tell everyone you’re on a hunger strike until the whales are saved. All of them. And take up donations to save the whales. No one judges you for not eating meat, you make a little money on the side, and people think you’re a saint. Win, win, and win.
5. Pretend it’s an allergy. Are those hot dogs? You should got take something before you break out… in more excuses to not eat them.
So kick back, enjoy the social atmosphere and enjoy your veggies on the sly.