Article / Molly Reynolds

Rejoice! Today is Festival of Smoke and Mirrors Day!

Happy Festival of Smoke and Mirrors Day!

Congratulations!  You’ve made it to today; everybody’s favorite holiday*!  Forget Christmas!  What’s an Easter?  Who cares about birthdays!

Ways to Celebrate the Festival of Smoke and Mirrors:

1.  Create your very own pyramid scheme.

You’ll need a presentation, ill fitting suit jacket, willing audience members and a plant in the crowd.  Get dressed and use your best sleazy car salesman voice to present some hair brained scheme to the gullible and the elderly.  If your momentum wanes, have your plant give a glowing testimonial of your program.  Profit.

2. Finish your one-man dance/hip hop/theatre fusion.

Although not a swindler or a deceiver, the one-man artist is subject to the same criticisms as slingers of smoke and mirrors.  Put yourself in the shoes of today’s celebrated heroes and finally get that big break you’re looking for.  You’ve fantasized about popular critics hailing your work as “masterful and a creative fusion.”  But first you’ll have to start somewhere.  May I suggest taking it to the street?

3. Break vow to give up smoking.

Who needs to better themselves? Not you!  You’re too perfect.  Have a vice or two and stop making the rest of us look bad.

4. Take a celebrity tour of Los Angeles.

Head to the land of smoke and mirrors!  Well, smog and mirrors, actually.  Every street corner you visit on your tour will present a new type of smog and a fascinating creature staring at themselves in a mirror.  Beware the self tanned beasts that will shoot daggers at your tour bus.  If you must feed them, offer them compliments and coconut water.  That should keep them at bay.

5. Heckle a magician.

The most traditional way to celebrate Smoke and Mirrors day is at an old fashioned magic show.  The proprietors of deception, these guys are kings today.  Bring them down to your level by shouting nonsensical and non-humorous gibberish at the performers.  Nothing says “Happy Smoke and Mirrors Day” like an ill thought out comment in a public setting.  Let loose, call that hard working artist up there a phony or a swindler.  He’ll love it.

*The holiday of Smoke and Mirrors is an homage to the deceptive nature often used in magic and swindling.  It does not, as the author previously assumed, refer to drug usage and paraphernalia.

One thought on “Rejoice! Today is Festival of Smoke and Mirrors Day!

  1. i had to type out ‘festival of smo…’ before even GOOGLE knew what this holiday was. no, google, it’s not ‘festival of small halls,’ the premier musical celebration of prince edward island! GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT!

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