Daylight saving time began this morning, Sunday March 10, 2013 at 2 a.m. local time. If you aren’t tired you probably didn’t spring forward and are running late for something since we are now an hour in the future.
The world follows daylight saving time unquestionably, but how many of us stop to think about what it means, why we do it, and where it comes from? After thorough research online, I found shocking revelations about daylight saving time of which everyone should be aware.
1. Daylight saving time was first implemented by the Nazis
It makes sense to me that this barbaric custom of forcing us to sacrifice an hour of sleep in order to help productivity would first be put into place by the Nazi party. Daylight saving time was first implemented in Germany, during World War I. The Nazi party came out of Germany losing World War I. So it is my hypothesis that those people who implemented Daylight saving time would soon become Nazis. Hence, Nazis first implemented daylight saving time.
2. Daylight saving time was invented by a pervert
You know that our lovable founding father Benjamin Franklin was a womanizing pervert, right? Well he was. Benjamin was notorious for sleeping around. One day while he was up early riding through the village, he noticed all the blinds on the houses were shut. He was very upset by this and thought if people wake up an hour early they will be up in time to utilize the sunlight, their blinds would be open, and he could utilize the opportunity to peep in through the windows. PERVERT! Many people believed that the purpose of daylight saving time was for conserving electricity and candles in the evening. But you can’t fool me Benjamin Franklin. You wouldn’t have made this discovery in the first place if you weren’t trying to peep in windows as you road by and discovered the blinds were shut. So there you have it folks. A pervert invented daylight saving time.
3. Daylight saving time has no positive effects on society.
Studies have shown daylight saving time is as equally bad as it is good for your health. The bad cancels out the good giving us no purpose whatsoever for losing an hour. According to many Internet articles, losing an hour of sleep increased instances of heart attacks while the extra hour of daylight in fall reduced instances of car accidents. The good and bad mathematically cancel each other out and result in no benefit added.
4. Daylight saving time is inconsistent and confusing.
According to various websites, Arizona, Hawaii, American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands do NOT participate in daylight saving time. There is no strategy in place to accommodate this inconsistency. One just has to be aware of the time difference. If you are an assistant you probably just had a heart attack realizing you could have sent your boss to a state or country that doesn’t follow daylight saving time and therefore you put the wrong times in his or her calendar. Since you just had a heart attack, add another check mark to the hazardous for your health column. Thus, making daylight saving time officially bad for everyone’s health.
5. Cancel out #2 because daylight saving time is officially hazardous to your health
In conclusion, daylight saving time is very very very bad. I strongly urge you to lobby against our society messing with time. We must not let the perverts and the Nazis win. Regardless of what you decide, if you take away one thing from this article, it should be that Benjamin Franklin was a pervert!