Article / Danielle Calvert

Happy Tell A Fairy Tale Day!

Today, February 26th, is actually (according to the internet) “Tell a Fairy Tale Day.” So…

Once upon a time our lives were so boring that we needed to create a new pointless holiday for every day of the year in order to make each day slightly less painfully dull.

Here are a few other favorite “holidays” to celebrate:

World Toothache Day

A solemn day commemorating past pain and reminding us that you always have the extra five minutes it takes to brush and floss your teeth each day. Sure, you’re tired and all you want to do is get under those covers and doze off to dreamland, but come on. You don’t even have to remain standing while you brush your teeth–the toilet makes an excellent chair and it’s mere inches away from the sink! And it’s the only chair where sitting on it with your naked butt is highly encouraged, so trust me, you’ll want to take advantage of this!

Dentists celebrate this day by winking at each other slyly. Which they probably do already because THEY’RE ALL EVIL.

National Clean Underneath Your Toenails Day

This is more of a reminder than a holiday. But isn’t Valentine’s Day the same deal? A reminder that you’re STILL SINGLE, LOSERS! Probably because you need a reminder to clean underneath your toenails! And still, even with that reminder, you only clean them once a year! You’re gross! Grow up!

Pediatrists celebrate this day by feeling slightly less gross about touching people’s feet all day. But they still probably gag a little every morning when they wake up and think about their job.

Worldwide Create Your Own Holiday Day

Who needs an excuse to party? Not us! Celebrate whatever you want! The sky’s the limit!

But let’s be honest, it’s more like “Big Giant Cop-Out Day,” right? Or is it meta? It’s so awkward, but I am still not sure what meta really means! I just use it because I’ve heard other people use it and it sounds smart!

Anyone can celebrate however they want! How great is that??

International Saying ‘Meta’ Is So Awkward Day

Celebrate by saying: “Saying ‘meta’ is so awkward!” and then launching into a lengthy discussion about the definition of “meta” and “awkward” when ALL YOU REALLY NEED TO DO IS OPEN UP A DICTIONARY AND READ THE ACTUAL DEFINITION. END OF DISCUSSION.

People everywhere celebrate by slapping whomever said “meta” or “awkward” in the face because they are probably really annoying. Or by complaining in a dumb blog post.

SO META!

The End.

To celebrate Tweet Stupid Things Day, follow Danielle on twitter @trexprincess

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