Article / Molly Reynolds

Facebook and the Afterlife: Resting Placebook – Social Media Ghouls

   

These days social media is geared toward the young, the active and the alive.  As a matter of fact, most new technological advances are aimed at ages 18-38.  Not only have we missed a key demographic but we have shunned and disgraced an entire group of individuals.  I’m proposing we adapt social media to be geared toward the deceased.

Resting Placebook is designed to fill the need of those who have passed on to the void. By connecting ghouls trapped in a medieval castle to those slaving away in abandoned hospitals we can create a network solely for the deceased. Resting Placebook transcends age and time, connecting recent ghosts to old timey haunts.  Your auntie Mildred can make friends with Napoleon Bonaparte, Einstein and a caveman if she so desires.

Most importantly, ghouls can use Resting Placebook like their living counterparts to “Facebook Stalk” others.  Knowledge is power and, boy, is social media powerful! Ghosts will have easy access to some of the following information: mutual dead friends, page likes, maps of their favorite haunts and instant moan messaging.  And if a ghost is lucky enough to stalk someone with lenient privacy settings he very well might gain access to (rotting) flesh revealing photos!  Should an afterlifer find himself up against a wall, he may choose to poke his beloved.  However, he should be warned that this action is desperate and may be immediately deleted.  Resting Placebook Stalking is hindered only by the bounds of imagination.

Of the foreseen drawbacks of Resting Placebook, the largest is the very annoying rattling chain mail.  There is a current post claiming to reveal the best new resting place if it reaches a thousand likes.  Subsequently another post claims to reveal your true haunting style if you type “1” in the comment section.  Be warned, such posts are nuisances at most and will not reveal any juicy information.  The masterminds behind this venture are hard at work trying to eliminate such sensationalist swill.

This venture is a veritable cash cow. There are no other competitors in this field that could poach revenue.   The overhead would be low, ad sales high and potential user groups growing by the minute.  The number of the deceased far outweighs Facebook’s current users.  And daily the demographic is growing due to massacres, illness and natural causes.  Therefore, this is an endeavor that will promise to yield high end results.

This website will provide to be an intricately intertwined network for ghosts, ghouls and all undead.  It caters to a people so often ignored and misunderstood.  This is an opportunity to infiltrate an otherwise unopposed demographic.  It proves to foster relations between those who’ve passed on as well as an organizational tool for planning events, birthdays and groups.  This soon to be popular phrase says it all: A well connected ghost is a happy ghost!

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